


📃 ; never gonna not be there.

by blushysock



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, Incredibly self indulgent, One Shot, The Author Regrets Everything, bad grammar for the sake of dialogue leave me alone, before season 12 finale, can be read as platonic, im sorry, let. the. master. be. comforted., not really in canon?, this is honestly just for my sake, vulnerable master
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:14:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22978204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blushysock/pseuds/blushysock
Summary: They had a may have a lot of baggage. Their history was long and tired, filled with so many emotions. So many memories.But she was never going to refuse to hold him.
Relationships: The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who), Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	📃 ; never gonna not be there.

**Author's Note:**

> hihi! first every fan fiction, woo. Whilst I’ve always loved writing, I’ve never been particularly skilled at it so please ignore any mistakes and general... badness. Nevertheless! I hope you enjoy!

“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry,” was all he could sob out as he held onto her, his head resting on her chest. Her shirt dampened from his tears, but that’s definitely not what she was focusing on. She had never seen him like this, he looked so... fragile. Vulnerable. Two words she’d never associate with the master before this point. He had always seemed so sure and confident in his chaos, but right now he was a mess. His hands shook whilst gripping the front of her shirt weakly.

She had been fiddling away with whatever tech she had found in a corner of her TARDIS when There had been an unexpected knock on the TARDIS door. She certainly didn’t expect to see her old friend, her enemy, standing there when she opened it. He looked wrecked, his eyes red from crying. His signature jacket was no where to be seen and his arms had nail marks, like he had gripped himself so tightly it broke the skin. Her heart panged. The moment he saw her he had collapsed into her.

They had a may have a lot of baggage. Their history was long and tired, filled with so many emotions. So many memories. 

But she was never going to refuse to hold him.

“Master...” she whispered, one hand coming up to wrap around his back and the other combing through his hair. He always liked that.

The last time they had seen each other he had seemed so strong, so confident as he caused his usual havoc. The sheer contrast to what was now in front of her was extreme, but she supposed he would always find new ways to surprise her. He always had, through all their lives.

She slowly walked them back into the TARDIS, feeling the need to shut the door softer than usual, like he would startle and snap back to his usual self. “Hey,” she said with such a soft voice, taking his jaw into her hand and raising his head to look at her, “talk to me.” 

Tears were still rolling town his cheeks as he looked into her eyes. She could see all she needed to know; the pain, the torment. How much he was suffering. She whipped away the tears with her thumb and kissed his forehead, not expecting a reply.

As he made no attempt to say anything, to explain his sudden appearance and current state, she signed and dropped her hand from his face. She then took his hand, pulling him behind her out of the main room and into one of the hallways. He didn't say anything, didnt question, just followed. It was sort of unnerving, to not hear any of his usual remarks.

The TARDIS made a room down the end of the first hallway so they’ve didn’t have to walk for very long, it was a cozy room with a nice looking bed in the middle. In the corner was a lit fire, and the rest of the room was decorated with call backs to the doctor and the masters adventures. The TARDIS always knew what she needed, and she gave a silent thanks.

She led him over to the bed and rested them both down, resting her back against the head board as his head came to rest on her lap, her hand now returned to his hair. She didn’t say anything for a time, she didn’t feel the need to. 

After a few minutes of laying there, the crackling of the fire in the corner seeming to do wonders to calm them both, he finally spoke up. 

“God this, this is so stupid, i-“ he cut himself off, taking a breath, “I don’t know why I’m here. I just- I just needed to see you. I know you hate me right now-“ she could never. “- and that’s totally understandable. A part of me wants you to, for you to see me how I see myself. For you to validate just how terrible I am. But I’m, god I’m so, I’m so sorry, doctor. I really am. I don’t feel bad for killing those people, I do believe they mean nothing. I wish I didn’t, for your sake, but I have to be honest.”

He paused for a moment. even if his last comment made her hand freeze in his hair for a moment, she stayed silent and waited for him to continue.

“But I feel terrible for how that effects you. You’re all I care about. But god you, you make me so angry. Every time I look at you I burst with so many emotions. You’re everything they wanted me to be, and everything I can’t be. But I don’t want to be you- not anymore, not like in the academy. 

I love you, doctor - and you have every right to hate me - but I do.”

Her hand fully stopped in his hair now, his words the only thing that mattered. She didn’t skip a beat before replying “I could never.” And she meant it. The words came so easily to her after that. “The things you’ve done are horrible, but I never see you in those eyes when it’s happening. When everything is falling down around us. I see the rage the timelords forced into you that day at the academy. I see all the frustration, all the pain. It’s their fault. I know you, master. I know you can be better. And if there’s one thing I can promise, it’s that I’m never going to give up on you.”

He went silent after that, and the crackle of the fire faded back into existence. She loved him, she always had. And despite all the hurt he’s caused, she could never resist not forgiving him, not making excuses for him. He looked so peaceful in his rest, the tension gone from his face and his lips slightly open. She couldn’t let him go again, not after this moment of sincerity.

After she heard the masters breathing go back to normal, she also drifted off to sleep. She slept better than ever with him in her arms, like the old days.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry it’s short! and aaa please ignore spelling errors it’s rather late! I’ll try to remember to read through in the morning and fix them! I wrote this because I’m crying over the season 12 finale. Please cry with me.


End file.
